Goodbye Canada! Hello Australia!

so I'm home...!!!!!!  and as always there's a song for my mood right now...(even though its about america i find it kind of appropriate for my home too...)...

and so my time in Canada is over for this year!! and I already miss it. It is quite confronting to have your heart torn in two between two countries... it's like I live between two worlds... one my home country and the other the home country of my dear Benjamin.. in both I have family & friends who are dear to me... and yet these worlds will always exist side-by-side and never combined together.... but big sigh, I should stop feeling sorry for myself as I'm sure there are much worse problems in the world. and plus I'll be going back next year September... which doesn't actually solve any problems since then I'll be saying goodbye to Australia for at least A WHOLE YEAR!!! sniff sniff..... ok, that's really enough. Another way to look at it is that unlike millions around the globe who suffer in their homelands, I have not one but TWO amazing countries where I can call home and can live in freedom and prosperity and comfort with loved ones nearby. God's blessings are rich indeed!!

Canada.... so far....

So two weeks into it!!! My time here is nearly 1/3 of the way over and I can't believe it!!! I've had so much fun and it feels like I've been here forever... and a bit unreal that I'll be going home in another 4 weeks....eeeek..... though of course I miss you all and a little tear even came to my eye the other night (just a little one mind) when I thought of how far away you all are and how someday I might have to live with that reality... though of course that's all far in the future and there's no point worrying about what may be or may not be... 


so maybe the tear was more to do with the fact that I only had 4 hours sleep the night before due to a late night (1am) for Rosanne's graduation and then an early morning (5am) to go trucking to Edmonton.... after which of course I hit the mall with my beloved and got to shoot a 9mm Glock pistol at the shooting range... guess who's idea that was... haha but it was fun.... though I have no particular desire to ever own a pistol.... it was a little too much power for me... though of course the beloved has other ideas... so my challenge is now to convince him that life will continue without owning a pistol..... hmmm.... 


and yesterday was canada day so today we had a public holiday and had a community bbq breakfast with pancakes, bacon and sausages and lots of coffee (no eggs or bread... that was slightly weird... or tea actually - Canadians don't believe in tea it seems...) and then a church picnic for lunch which was a lot of fun... played ultimate frisbee (which I was pathetic at), soccer (which I was reasonably able at) and then baseball (which I conceded defeat at and sat out and didn't try....)... weird game I tell you!!!! and then of course when we got home guess what we had to do...... yup you guessed dear benjamin wanted to shoot his gun, so I had a couple of shots too.... which actually I forgot to say I killed two magpies on saturday cause we went magpie hunting- so I have officially killed with a gun... not something I'm particularly proud of... it was kinda sad actually cause I killed two poor little baby magpies and then the whole magpie colony from 5km about was in mourning for the rest of the afternoon... squawking and such like... well Dave killed one too and Ben killed one PLUS the mother... so we pretty much wiped out an entire family... which at least I guess we didn't leave one alone all by itself right??!!?? I mean if someone came and wiped out my entire family I'd probably want to be dead to...so i guess it was kind of an act of mercy... not. 



anyway I've put up some pictures on facebook...which for some reason their only on my wall not on posted up on the general news feed i think so you may not have seen them (and yes I too am a little concerned - as I'm sure you are - about the frequency of the appearance of guns in the photo's...mmmm slightly worrying).........but here are some more... without guns.  

Me eating comfort food all alone in Sydney airport... just as well i had interesting mail to keep me entertained :) (thanks @camille, @carla, @benjamin)

photographic evidence - frootloops at 10:13pm... disgusting.

SNOW!!! in summer!!! aka known as fluff from the poplar trees....

and that's all from me for now...

coz it's been a while....

heyhey


so before you start press play on this clip and listen to this song while you read my ramblings.... 

it quite adequately depicts my current mood... the deep sense of anticipation and nerves prior to my whole life changing forever (finishing work, leaving for Canada alone, returning to start a new job) , the clock ticking away (only 2 days till I abandon my family for a month and a half to go visit my crazy boyfriend on the other side of the world....) and yet the sweet swelling tones of hope and joy that these changes are bringing to my life...and then the abrupt end showing the finality of the unknown future. 

and so let us continue as to the real reason of this post.... yep I'm sorry... it's been a little long since I've bashed out my thoughts and concerns on here... but I'll kindly thank you to take it a sign of my dedication and commitment to my studies... obviously.


So now... studies are over... well one exam left on Thursday morning.... that I've spent a grand total of 3hrs studying for yesterday. Umm... I'm sure it'll be ok... besides there is so much more important things to think about.... 


like cheesecake for my last day at FairHaven tomorrow!!! 

(Which this one... though found on google... looks exactly like the one I've just made... promise you!! just trying to make you jealous.... Kara I tell you you're missing out on something.....)

and Mum & Dad who are sick and hence the reason why I just made a macaroni bake..... 


(which mine looks heaps better than this one cause it has WAY more veggies, + of course it has spiral macaroni which is an absolute necessity for a good macaroni....actually soft shells are alright too)

and of course Canada.... and my dearly beloved who lives there with his family..... and to think about what to pack!!! sadly I've finally come to the conclusion that it is fairly impossible for me to take my entire winter & summer wardrobes as necessary as I feel it is.... so here is the current situation as it stands.... notice the Australian supplies... I am not going unarmed into an unknown situation... though I'm fairly sure the customs people may percieve that I own to a belief that food isn't available in Canada...which of course is untrue.... just that food of necessity is rare in nature... actually none of it's for me... it's all requests from people who have been living in deprivation... but back to the point being that i'm fairly unsure of the weather there... i mean look at the side-by-side comparison....








yup... what to take.... need for a jacket?? (I mean come on max 13 degrees on Friday the day I arrive there...).... mmmmhhmmm... just as well there's still 2 days to think about this :)


and that's about all for the moment I think. Take care peoples and I shall endeavour to keep you updated on my adventures in Canada...

Utter pointless update on my life

Ok so peer pressure has pretty much pushed me into writing this post.... seriously.... both of the serious bloggers in my life have posted today... one has even posted twice... and since at this moment I'm sandwiched between them on the couch, all behind our mighty Macbook pro's.... there is really no other option but to follow suit and share my thoughts with the world which is no doubt waiting with bated breath to hear what amazing words of wisdom are about to flow forth from my fingers after months of silence.....

and unfortunately I have to say that there is no great pearls of wisdom to flow forth... only approximately 7/16 of my brain is currently available for random access memory, meaning brain power is significantly reduced and pearls of wisdom are few and far between at this stage of the game...

but of course, I could always just bore you all with the reasons why 9/16 of my brain is unavailable for usage at this stage.....

#1 - the love of my life has departed for Canada........ which is pretty devastating I can tell you... well I cried a bit on Monday and Tuesday but thought I was doing pretty well today... until I managed to leave my wallet at home when I went out shopping (and didn't realise until I was sitting in the carpark...), I went to go shopping for eggs and returned with everything BUT eggs, I forgot to put the bins out for rubbish collection, I nearly forgot to feed the cat, and I managed to feel crazy busy and yet do absolutely nothing all day despite having goals set out that I was going to accomplish... which is mainly due to the fact that my poor brain is doing useless pointless looping.... which for the uninformed is a word I made up to describe a repetitious train of thought... which is taking up a good 7/16 of my brain..... hopefully I can reclaim some of that brainspace soon... or I'm gonna go CRAZY!!!

#2 - exhausting 12hr prac shifts where nothing EVER happens (touch wood)... well maybe Ctrl+Z that "touch wood" comment... it would actually be nice if something would actually happen..... but anyway those which have successfully killed the remaining 2/16 of my brain that is not being utilised....

and now I have to fly cause I've got a hot skype date happening very soon... :) and hopefully it clears up some of the problems caused by #1.... so hopefully the next time I blog I might actually have something worth sharing to write about....

good night all my avid readers.... lekke slaapen.... 

xx

2012...

Ok, so welcome to 2012... and by my calculations we're ready 1/8 of the way through the year.... scary stuff!!!


Actually I'm kinda glad to be in 2012... there's something so much cooler about 2012 over 2011... don't you think?? maybe it's cause "12" is an even number... and really let's face it, sorry number 11, but it really is a pretty ugly, awkward number...


And plus it's going to be an AMAZING year... I can just feel it... well it's been pretty amazing so far... no guesses why eh?? :) lol.   But not only that, I'm finishing uni!! revisiting Canada!! starting my new job!!


In fact it's gonna be such an awesome year I wish it was over already so I could look back on it and know what all happens and how I cope with my whole life changing... yup, you guessed it, I'm a control freak... but in my defence I'm pretty sure 2012 is going to totally change my life on so many different levels...


So I guess I have to set some New Years Resolutions...so here they are:

1. survive the last 6 months of uni...
2. have the awesomest practical experience ever at PMH!
3. learn to love Canada to some degree... ;)
4. be the awesomest new grad nurse ever!!
5. try to not fall over so much
6. try not to lose things so much (particularly my mobile, which is lost at the moment actually :( )
7. try not to forget things
8. try not to break too many rules

and I think that's pretty much it... so everyone I hope you have an amazing and exciting 2012 and that God surrounds us all with His love and care... for no matter what this year brings for any of us, it is guided by Him for our greater good!!

Amazing Life

Life is amazing. 

It is more than just the body's rhythms of breathing in-and-out, the mechanical pump of the heart pushing blood around the body and the electrical impulses travelling through the brain reporting sensory information and stimulating motor function ... A person who is hooked up to a ventilator machine experiences these same bodily functions and yet is not experiencing 'life' in the true sense of the term... 

Sure, I'll grant that legally 'life' is classed by these functions... one who is not experiencing these is rightly classed as 'dead'. But yet, life is more than our biological drive to provide oxygen and nutrients to the body.

Life contains so many spheres - physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual and social... Just think of those five spheres in your life at the moment, and you can probably list a myriad of adjectives to describe your current state in each of these spheres. You may be feeling physically on-top-of-the-world but spiritually distant. You may be feeling emotionally volatile and at the same time struggling to maintain your social relationships. These spheres may operate independently or be intrinsically linked. To go back to my days with Applicable mathematics, I can't help thinking about the appropriateness of the Venn diagram in demonstrating the separate and yet linked nature of these spheres in our life. Life is fully experienced through the junction of these five spheres. 

The most amazing thing about life is that it is God's gift to us! His greatest gift! Sin and death were the punishment we deserved, and yet life we received through Jesus Christ. 

Only because the Son of God came to give His Life, do we continue to rise every day to a new day, we breath in air, our hearts pump in our bodies, we experience emotions, we talk to our friends, we go to work and we may serve God. 

At times, life is tough. It can be hard and it can be sad. Sin and it's consequences continue to destroy the perfect bliss we once experienced in the Garden. And yet God promises to heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds and promises to restore us to the blessedness of an eternally perfect life! What a promise!

 What a life we have to look forward to! Praise be to God alone. 

Musings on mental matters

So... mental health prac is over... what an experience!! whew... 


What it taught me most of all is that mental illness is one of the most challenging obstacles an individual may have to overcome. Thanks be to God, that no matter how we joke around about being "crazy", many of us have never had to personally face mental illness or it's debilitating manifestations. 


It takes extreme perseverance, trust and self-denial to conquer mental illness. The sufferer must face their mental illness, acknowledge it's presence, trust the doctor's and nurses and others in their lives who are telling them that what they are suffering is not real, but simply an illusion in their mind and persevere in denying their mental illness power to rule their lives. It may take countless psychology sessions where painful pasts are dragged out into the open and examined by strangers... it may include medications which have their own associated side effects like drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea... which quite frankly may be less appealing than the mental illness. 


My own personal view on mental illness is vague and undefined. As I write my assignment for Friday on "the conclusions that can be drawn about the biological causes of behavioural/psychological problems".. perhaps my views may be clarified in my mind.


Though I am a firm believer that mental illnesses (though they can be caused by lifestyle choices - eg. the repetitive use of marijuana and other drugs.... in the same way that physical illness can be caused by lifestyle choices - eg. lung cancer/emphysema from smoking or liver failure due to alcoholism), are in some cases genetically linked and rooted in biological causes, I find it hard to deny that there is some spiritual element to mental illness. After listening to the number of patients with schizophrenia and psychotic depression rave on about how they are God or the devil, or are in cahoots with the devil, or they are God's representative on earth who controls the spirit world... I found myself coming to the conclusion that Satan's minions are very active in the mental health setting...


And perhaps they are... Just as Satan's minions can use physical illness (eg. cancer) to cause people to deny the presence of a merciful God, perhaps they play with the minds of some of those suffering mentally to cause them to struggle spiritually. It makes me wonder about the people who Jesus healed who were possessed by demons, and whether these demons manifested themselves with mental illnesses like psychotic depression and schizophrenia...


What I do know is that Matthew 4:24 tells us that:
"So His fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, epileptics, and paralytics, and He healed them."


Jesus Heals! He is the great Healer who wipes away the tears of His children and mends their broken hearts. Though physical (or mental) healing may not be His plan for you here on this earth... in life everlasting our bodies and minds will be healed and purified and we will no longer have to struggle with illness - mental or otherwise. 

Our Father

One of the greatest privileges of being a Christian is to call the almighty Creator God of the Universe, Father. 

I was reading "The Practice of Godliness" (Jerry Bridges) and a particular sentence that struck me was : the "most serious sin today may be the flippant approach to God in our prayers" (p.22 for those who are interested)...

This really struck me, because a couple of weeks ago I was listening to a sermon in preparation for writing my intro and I came across the same thought...

We don't disparage the idea that we can use this close, affectionate term "Abba", or "Daddy" or "Father" for God.... however sometimes we may become so used to using these familiar, intimate terms that we may begin to use them in a childish or frivolous way.... Just because we now may call God "Father" does not give us the right to enter his presence presumptously or arrogantly. 

Extensive research has shown, that though there were hundreds of 'approved' names for God, the Jewish people abhorred the notion of calling God "Father" in their prayers. The first occurrence of a Jewish prayer, addressing God directly as "Father" was in the 10th century AD in Italy, and even then had a Christian influence....

One of the most radical ideas that Jesus claimed, was his special claim to have intimacy with the Father. (see John  10:30ff).. Over and over again Jesus referred to God as His Father.  This enraged the Pharisees. They took that to mean Jesus claimed to be equal with God. In every recorded prayer of Jesus in the NT, except one, Jesus calls God "Father". 

That is so common to us, that sometimes we read over it and miss it's significance. The radical nature of Jesus claim becomes lost to us. No Jewish person in Jesus day would have dared even thought of addressing God as "Father". But Jesus did it every time He prayed. 

And then when the disciples ask Him to teach them how to pray, Jesus says... When you pray, pray like this: "Our Father". 

The unique privilege that Jesus had... as the only person in the whole world to have the right to address the God of Heaven and Earth as "My Father".... He gave that to you and me, so that we can call God "Father" as well, because He adopted us into His Family.

Unbelievable Grace!! That we could have the privilege of calling God, "our Father". 

God is in control

Life for me mostly smoothly sails along.... okay, there's a few hiccups and challenges, but overall it's not too bad.... after all my basic needs are met with:

1. fresh clean air
2. fresh clean water available with the turning of a tap
3. food in abundance (too much really :) )
4. a roof over my head (365 days/year)
5. clothes in my cupboard, and money to buy more if I need (or want)

and when I look around, not only are my basic needs met, but also almost all of my wants! And I sincerely thank and praise God for so many blessings!

However events in your life somehow sometimes throw curveballs at you... something challenges your perspective, your perceptions shift and things become clear...

and this is what is happening in my life at the moment.... the pain I have been experiencing (though relatively minor and certainly not on par with leukaemia sufferers or anything like that) has been difficult, debilitating and draining... especially while I have been trying to prepare myself for my mental health prac, complete assignments and regular uni work... and then I had to give up netball on Monday for it.... and that in itself was a real challenge... I mean, I loooovveee!!! netball... and that was the first time in a very long time that I have missed a game... :(

so to get to the point, why has the pain been so difficult? It's not because the pain has been so bad, or so intense or so terrible... no it's been difficult because I am so used to being well, healthy and pain-free.... to a cancer sufferer, my level of pain would be a pipe-dream, to me it brings frustration and agony....

Today when I was looking at my ultrasounds from yesterday and today, I felt momentary fear and tears even came to my eyes when I realised that in all probability something, however minor, could be wrong. The thought that something could threaten my health and wellbeing, had an immediate impact on my emotions, my happiness and my faith.

At the end of the day, this pain has taught me that no matter what I say and confess, somehow somewhere something inside of me puts its trust in me, in my health, in my ability to do things freely and without pain.... and it has pointed me to reaffirm my trust in God, that He knows what is best for me. He holds my life in His hands, He works for my good in all events in my life.

Whatever the doctor tells me on Friday afternoon, I don't have to worry. Whether it be nothing, just muscular pain, then I will be OK. Whether it be the most thing I could possibly ever imagine (which by the way, I strongly doubt it will be), then I will be OK as well. No matter what happens to me, I have two sure promises I can hold on to.

God is sovereign.

and He loves me.

Listen to the youtube link from Newsboys - In Christ Alone .... a song that gives me much comfort and peace.

excitement!!

Oh hey ok!! adrenalin pumping through my veins (or should I say arteries...??, since technically veins don't pump....)..... so it's time to write!!


And yippedeedooyaaahhh!! I've been accepted to PMH graduate program starting August 2012.... very excited at this point!! dream come true... now just to live through the rest of this semester and next, and then I'll be a full living breathing responsible registered nurse... which is kinda scary, especially when you're working with the kiddies.... but yay!! I'm ecstatic at the moment!! will leave the deep ponderous thoughts for later....


that's it for now.... I've got a couple of assignments to kill, which I'm suddenly feeling inspired for since the END IS IN SIGHT!! I have a guaranteed job (for 12 months anyways :) )..... WAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!


:D


xx


p.s. hope you are all having a fantastic day too :P

Freed from Sin

So... over the last few days I've been having fun on my amazing MacBook Pro, while I'm meant to be studying... and I've come up with this... 

This week I had to drive into uni 3 times!!, yes 3 times... and I was getting a bit sick of my music, yes I know I have a fairly extensive collection of music, but all the same, I just wasn't in the mood to listen to anymore... so since I have an intro coming up, I went on the internet and went to R.C. Sproul's page (a minister in America who I really enjoy listening to) and downloaded one of his six sermons on Romans 8 to listen to whilst I undertook the arduous trek to uni... 

It was entitled "Free from indwelling sin" and was a grand total of 45 minutes long, which I've managed to summarise to 5 minutes... what I really enjoy about it, is although it may seem laboriously repeating the same point over and over again... the point he is making is soooooooo important!! and something that I tend to brush over...  I continually fall into the trap of tricking myself that by my works I can somehow please God and earn salvation... eg. my mind tries to logically equate going to club, going to church and showing love to those around me with salvation... WHICH IS A LIE, a thought from the devil.... only by justification can we attain salvation, which is naturally followed by sanctification.... evidence of sanctification are not grounds for justification.... let me say that again, just to remind myself.... evidence of sanctification are not grounds for justification!!

anyways, here is my summary, I hope you enjoy it... and I really encourage you to listen and watch the WHOLE thing... since the point is crucial! 

Widows and Orphans

So, I'm meant to be studying at the moment, but a verse I read last night in personal devotions got me musing again... so I thought I'd share....

Wikipedia states that religion "is a collection of cultural systems, belief systems and worldviews that establishes symbols that relate humanity to spirituality and moral values" - a definition that is widely accepted and adopted by the general public and probably by me if I really examine how I think about religion.

Somehow I don't like to think of myself as 'religious'... and why? Is that because I associate religion with strict dogma, people mindlessly following stringent doctrines and empty worship rituals? and if it is, then shame on me. For that is not how God defines religion. 

God, through James, tells us that religion  "that is pure and undefiled before God the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" - James 1:27.

Notice something? Dogma, doctrine or worship rituals are NOT the definition of religion - God tells us that religion is dynamic, it's active, it lives inside of us - our religion is who we are, our thoughts, words and actions. Everybody, even unbelievers have a religion (their religion may be the furthering of ones-self)…. For God reminds us through James that religion is not confined to Sundays, limited to complex theological beliefs and discussions or a compartmentalised section in our lives devoted to spiritual matters… rather religion is a practical matter, it is what is in our hearts, in our minds, on our lips and in our actions…

but the definition of religion is not why I started this blog post... no what I wanted to bring out was James first qualification for pure and undefiled religion: "to visit orphans and widows in their affliction". 

Why does God put the emphasis on orphans and widows? 

The verse that originally caught my attention was in Exodus 22:22-24: “You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless”.

It’s striking isn’t it? God’s emphasis on protecting the widow and orphan is unmistakable. They are His. He is their protector.

And this theme is repeated again and again in the Bible:

“He [that is God] executes justice for the fatherless and the widow…” Deut 10:18

“… the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled…” - Deut 14:29

In Deuteronomy 24:19 He said “When you reap your harvest in your field and have forgotten a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back and get it; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan and for the widow…”

“Cursed be anyone who perverts justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless and the widow”- Deut 27:19

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation…” Psalm 68:5

“Learn to seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the fatherless and plead the widow’s cause” – Isaiah 1:17

“But You do see, for You note mischief and vexation, that You may take it into Your hand; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless …” Psalm 10:14

“The LORD… upholds the widow and the fatherless…” Psalm 146:9

It is really remarkable that God so particularly protected the orphans and widows in Israel. The nations around about the Israelites scorned the weak and ignored the inferior. Those who didn’t have power, wealth or position were expected to serve those who did. The vulnerable were scorned and ignored.

Yet in Israel, things were different. God reached out and said “No, do not touch, for they are mine”.

In this, God shows us that He loves the vulnerable, the weak and the inferior. Unlike us who value strength, independence and might, God shows love to those who have nothing in themselves to offer.

James reminds us that “Listen my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom…?” –James 2:5

Paul says “But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to shame the things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of the Lord…” – I Corinthians 1:27-29.

What does this show us about our God? It shows His mercy, His love, His grace… and leaves us with nothing more to say but “Hallelujah!”

But there is more for us to learn… for God tells us why we are to look after the orphans and widows…

He says “You shall remember that you were slave in the land of Egypt; therefore I am commanding you do this thing…” – Deuteronomy 24:17

The Israelites had been there, done that – they’d been vulnerable, week and inferior… yet God had lifted them out of that situation, redeemed them and given them a glorious future.

And this if for us too. Without God, we are orphans – with no Father who looks out for us, cares for us and governs world events for our good. Without God we are widows – alone, vulnerable and needing the Bridegroom to come and redeem and protect us. Without God we'd have no future, no hope…

And yet God has chosen us… we now have a Father, we have a Bridegroom… we have a future and a hope (see Jer 29:11).

So in summary of my musings, the first qualification for true religion goes much deeper then the following of religious rituals, spouting theological doctrines and attending church on Sundays.

No, those with true religion understand. They understand who they were, who God is and what they have now become. They understand that in themselves they have nothing to offer, nothing at all that God would desire in them… and daily they experience God’s grace in their lives and seek to live out of that grace. They are not swayed by wealth, power, position or things that man values, but have time for the poor, the lowly and the vulnerable in society. God’s love lives in their hearts.

May the Holy Spirit fill our hearts and help us strive after this true religion.

Xx

Why me?

I heard this tonight - it really is beautiful....

Relax and listen, really listen to this, yes the whole thing, I know it's 10 minutes, but it 10 minutes well worth your time.

"Our Father and Our God,

Please forgive us when we presume upon your grace

Let us understand the graciousness of that grace

that we might move from life to life, from faith to faith and from grace to grace.

That we might understand that we are saved by grace through faith

and even that faith is not of ourselves, but is of You, so that it is not of him who chooses, of him who runs, or him who will but of Thee who shows us mercy

Amen"

Amen and Amen.

"If we experience God's grace once, we're grateful; if we experience it a second time, we're a little bit jaded... by the third time, not only do we expect it but we demand it. We harbour in our souls the idea that if God doesn't choose me then there's something wrong with Him, rather than with me. God reserves for Himself the Absolute sovereign right to pardon whom He will and the rest He gives justice. Not one person in this universe deserves the grace of God, and if you think you deserve the grace of God, then the minute that idea comes into your head that grace is something that God is obliged to give you, let a bell go off in your brain that tells you that you are no longer thinking about grace. For grace by definition is something that God is not required to give. That is the mystery of election. Why doesn't God give all people equal grace? Why isn't God an equal-opportunity redeemer? Question you want to be asking is - Why me? why did he bring me out of darkness and in the light? think of your own conversion and how God in His grace rescued you... by a grace that is sovereign."

May these words always be in our hearts.

yup, blogging on a friday again

Ok, it seems that it's always Friday nights that I blog :) (we're on a 3-week run now), but i spose that's because my minds always full of what I've been doing in the past week, what we've discussed at youth club and what my plans are for the next week......

so my musings for the week:

#1:  PRAC!! was amazing! loved it! by the end of it I had achieved my stated aim of ordering 4 patients around at a time.... yay!! luv you all my patients!! you were so kind and understanding with me... there was this one young dude - patient A - (about 25yo), who didn't realise until today I was a student (he told me "I would never have guessed", yup patients DO NOT read name badges and uniforms, all they see is the fob watch and the white blouse) and then all of a sudden everything when he realised I was a student, he made fun of everything I did...he kept going 'ouch, ouch' every time I gave him a needle, when I changed his dressing, even when I did his blood pressure... and kept asking me if I was sure of what I was saying)...  and the guy sharing his room (~30 years old) kept threatening to push the Medical Emergency call button whenever I was doing something to patient A... i was literally just about crying with laughter... Absolutely loving, Loving, LOVING the nursing at the moment! I've never felt so sure that I'm on the right track with my studies. Only a year to go!

#2:  INTERVIEW - umm yeah, so I got rung up today and asked to come for an interview with PMH on 15th August..... wow!! I'm blown away, I so thought I wasn't getting one as everybody else had heard from the other hospitals if they had an interview.... but yeah, apparently they were just a little behind on the paperwork, so yep, now I just have to prepare my professional CV! and prepare for a 15-minute grilling interview.... *gulp*

#3: ROMANS 7 - what an amazing chapter to reflect on our own innate sinfulness.... there is Paul, author of 13 books of the Bible, telling us of his own personal struggles and frustrations in overcoming sin... how true it is for my own life. I pray to God that He will give me the TRUE desire to overcome my sin, so often I'm just so comfortable in the same patterns and ruts of sin and life. As Paul puts it - "Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"


 What a wonderful God we have!!




Goodnight all my blogreaders!!! xx

My Musings on this 29th of July, 2011

So my musings for tonight are many and varied as usual....

1. God, how amazing He is. and He is my Father. 
2. Salvation, how amazing that is. by GRACE not by WORKS... sola gratia - the words which hold so much blessing and joy for my life.... Just imagine that.... my salvation is not dependent on me, my repentance, my works, my inner goodness etc, (just as well) - but on Christ's sacrifice ONLY. Thankyou Lord!!
3. My sin... and to my discredit (despite my musings at #2), so often I am guilty of Phariseeism... the belief that somehow my 'good works' earn me the right for salvation, and that it mollifies God somehow. How wrong I am! So often all the right words spill out of my mouth, but so often my heart holds evil or is timid to stand out for the truth when external pressure is placed on me. 
4. Psalm 15: Who may dwell in your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness and speaks the truth in his heart. May that be my prayer for myself always, that the Spirit may empower me to live a life of integrity and purity. I pray God that He may put a zeal in my heart for Him, that ALL my thoughts and actions are motivated by love for Him and my neighbour. 
5. My daily life - how I love my studies, my current prac experience as a nurse. How this widens my horizons so amazingly, how this humbles me and makes me realise how small I am, how blessed I really am! I think of my patients on the ward, about the struggles and trials that I get to see a glimpse of in people's lives every day (and which I will see all the time when I get my full-time job) and how blessed I am to have a part in people's lives (however small), that I can touch their lives and help them through their difficulties. May God be with me while I nurse others and give me the grace, humbleness and strength I require to serve with compassion and integrity. 
6. My family - I love them so very much. And though times are hard at the moment, how together we can with God's grace pull through. My amazing parents who seem to have boundless amounts of patience - may God bless them and give them wisdom.
7. My friends - some of whom are wowing me with their wonderful words of wisdom about God and his awesome works in our lives and in the world around us... so thankyou to you guys (you know who you are), you really inspire me! May God work in you with his awesome Spirit and bless you with more insights and empower you to live as His children... I thank God for you all!!! what an amazing blessing to have friends who share my beliefs
   
   
   And ok, it's late now, seven is the number of fulness and it's time for bed. Goodnight!! 
   
   
   Merin xxxx
   
   

my musings on this 22nd day of july

Ok, so thoughts are flying around in my head, so  I will resort to points in order for you to somehow understand the muddled jumble in my head....

1. Ooops, it's been a while since I've posted- yup, for all who are interested, I'm feeling 100%better from my last post, no more tonsillitis!! yippee!! I did survive to tell the tale. Moral of the story: When you have tonsillitis, swirl 10mL of Listerine in your mouth, gargle etc for at least 30 seconds every two hours... and you''ll be sweet as....

2. Ok now that that pearl of wisdom is out of the way, my friends write such inspiring blog posts. kara and milly you are amazing!! Everytime I check my dashboard I really look forward to seeing stuff by you!! umm, so my posts are quite dull in comparison, but you know, if something inspiring comes up, then yes of course I will post :) well the thing is, something inspiring does come up, but i've usually forgotten it by the time I sit behind a computer....

3. I'm home alone... which is probably a really stupid thing to put up on the net but oh well, I'm housesitting at a undisclosed location.... and there are strange noises outside (which I think are just the neighbours saying goodbye to their visitors) and there are strange noises inside (which I'm pretty sure is the kitten....).... but I'm just saying, you never know.... and of course in the back of my mind is that horrific story of how a 61-yo woman who was house-sitting in karnup alone was threatened while some thugs stole from her house... yup, apparently they knocked on her door at 2.30am and asked to use the phone cause their tyre had come off their car.... so yeah, I'm thinking I'm housesitting, I'm alone, funny noises outside.... gthhhhh, let me think of something nicer to think about...

4. Evangelism Conference - yup I went to the evening session of the evangelism conference and enjoyed it thoroughly!! Professor de Visser was so well grounded and gave me some really important things to think about. Eg.

• The church is there as a light in the world, but also as a mother of believers (i.e. her primary role is to feed and nurture God's children).... 
• In the Lord's prayer we pray "Your kingdom come", and LD 48 of the Heidelberg Catechism includes in this petition the phrase "Preserve and Increase Your Church". The emphasis is on preserving and increasing. These two things must go hand-in-hand... increase without preserving leads to deformation, while preserving without increasing leads to stagnation.... 
• As churches we do not need to become "less Dutch" or take actions such as change the worship service or psalms to make it more friendly for visitors.... but we must always strive to become "more Christian". Churches who are struggling with evangelism must not make a disproportionate attempt to boost the evangelism, RATHER, they must work at the root problem - the lack of the congregations strength of faith. By focussing on building up the faith of the congregation, they work on the root cause of the problem and allow evangelism to flow naturally.

5. so yes, just a few thoughts from the Prof.. interesting to ponder!! and the last thought on my mind that I can remember at the moment is I'm tired. Reallly tired...so I'm going to turn off my computer, and turn off my brain (I wish it were that easy!!).....

Goodnight!!

what's on my mind

Facebook is so considerate!! It's so kind and thoughtful... every time, every single time, I log on, it want's to know what's on my mind... how selfless and attentive it is...

And today what's on my mind is food. I miss food.

Well, I miss interesting food to be precise.

5 days today. 5 days since I've had anything apart from soup, yoghurt and custard... I've missed out on pizza, chips, roast chicken, roast pork, my yummy Uncle Toby's Plus cereal, sausage rolls, Subway, salad sandwiches, cheese & ham sandwiches, paradise casserole..... and the list goes on.......

yes I know I'm whinging, but nobody wants to listen to me at home, so may as well do it online.... so let's collectively on 3 say oh... readdy.....

one...


two...


three....




ohhhhhhhhhhhh... poor Merinda.......

Aww thanks guys.... makes me feel soo much better.... not.

I'm living on panadol (4hrly by the book), antibiotics (that aren't doing ANYTHING), throat spray (1.5hrly on the dot), multivitamins and then I don't even get anything interesting to eat. Seriously.
Yoghurt for breakfast, Custard for snacks, Soup for lunch & dinner.... just as well I made myself some nice potato & broccoli soup or I'd be really sick of those ridiculous packet mixes.

so yep, that's what's on my mind... yes I admit it, I'm grumpy and cross and tired.... so now I'm going to go and cheer myself up by watching all the kids eat their freshly baked blueberry muffins for their afternoon snack while I sip my glass of water... and hope that tomorrow I'll feel better.

hello and welcome

to my blogspot.... and since I have such copious amounts of time to divulge all the wildly exciting dead boring details of my glamorous mundane life, I will endeavour to keep you all updated with the goss that you really have no interest or care for, and wasting your time that could be spent saving the world in some way or another....

so my ambition is to post at least once a week..... haha.... let's see how long that lasts.....

well this is this weeks post :) i'm off to bed now, it is 0002hrs 1st May... wishing you all a blessed Sunday!!!